At the Hotel: If Walls Could Talk? Ha!

November 3, 2008

In this particular hotel, there used to be a lot of relics and animals mounted around the lobby area. They were a bit hit with all the tourists, who loved to come into the lobby to get a look of these animals they never would see normally. Kids would get scared of them, animal rights activists would get upset about them, the hunters of the fall would get excited from seeing them. Through the years, they were all removed for one reason or another. All but one: the moose head.

The moose head Moose Head has had several names through the years, from the common Bullwinkle to the uncommon Mortimer to the lame Moosey, to Dartboard (see below). The Moose Head is by far the biggest attraction in that lobby. If a tourist had the choice between snapping a picture of the head or the big Hollywood star in town, they would more often than not choose the head.

The Moose Head has always been there through the years, eyes glossed over and watching the happenings of the hotel carefully. The people and Colourful Five Percent it has seen must be incredible. The stories that entered those large ears, the ranting and raving of hotel staff, the outbursts from the guests. It all would be quite unbelievable and could fill tomes on the shelves.

When I see this Moose Head, my thoughts drift elsewhere. I think, “Poor Moose.” Not because the moose ended up hanging on the wall, but because it is hanging on the wall. The abuse it goes through is more incredible than the stories it sees and hears. I think of:

  • a certain manager reaching up and hanging from its antlers, almost bringing it crashing down to the floor.
  • the multiple attempts to throw things at it and occasionally hitting it (the list not limited to but including darts sticking in the side of its head)
  • being dressed up in Christmas lights
  • having a stuffed reindeer stuck on its head – the ultimate insult, surely.
  • witnessing its brethren being saved while leaving him hanging to continue bear the wrath of hotel staff
  • having to inhale cigarette smoke, pipe smoke, marijuana smoke, car exhaust fumes, Harley Davidson exhaust fumes, hair dressing chemicals and perm smells, and the combined B.O. of some of the sweatiest and dirtiest staff members alive – all taking place in the lobby at one time or another, not to mention spilt draft beer, spilt wine, wood stain, and a dirty diaper or four.

Even greater than all of the above, has been the more recent threats to sell the head to another bar to be beside a Bison Head named Bessie, or to be hung in another hotel bar known for its RCMP officers, as if it needed any more encouragement to be linked to the Rocky & Bullwinkle show.

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