The New Sex

August 21, 2006

Leave it to man to be bored with their current lives and bodies that they need to devise some alternative ways to please themselves. We aren’t satisfied with laughter and being around people sober, so we have to add drugs and alcohol into the mix to enhance the laughter and our other senses. I wonder what other animal species think of us, watching while we sit on couches, joint in hand, television blaring in front of us, laughing our asses off over nothing in particular. I also wonder how our ancestors would react if they walked past the bar strip and saw people who could barely walk in a straight line, slurring their speech, and not just talking but yelling at anyone or anything that crosses their path (or is that paths?).

You would think that one area of our lives could go unenhanced: sex. Really, what can top the feelings of an orgasm with a lover? Nope, we had to introduce dildos, whips, leather, candles and all sorts of lovers. No problem, we can experiment with so many items in the bedroom, or combinations of people, that surely nothing could ever replace sex with another human (or alone).

Millions of years since the dawn of man go by and it has happened. We replaced sex. And I’m not just talking about having sex with inanimate objects or a robot. I’m talking about taking sex out of the equation completely. Maybe this will sound familiar:

Your partner groans deeply, a bead of sweat following the curve of their face past their lips, as your eyes watch them go through the motions. You have a smile on your face as well, encouraging them, pushing them to go further. Feel the burn, you tell them. You’re standing in front of them, they’re laying down in front of you. You see their chest rising and falling as they work, heart beats racing. When it’s over, they rise up to meet you with a smile on their face, saying “Your turn.” 

The end of a great round of sex?

Or the completion of a set on the bench press?

Working out can be done almost anywhere these days. You can do it indoors or outdoors, in the bedroom, in the living room, in your backyard. You can do it alone, or with a partner. Even many people at once. There are hundreds of ways to do it. You could even say there are two genders to it: free-weights or machine-based. You can be a bisexual at the gym in this sense. There are even fetishes: treadmills, spinning classes, tae-bo, running tracks, kettlebell exercises, martial arts (with their own branch of fetishes, just like S&M), swimming… whew. This list could go on.

You both get a thrill out of working out alone, or with a partner. You enjoy it before (the anticipation of hitting the gym), during (the burn in the muscles), and after (the post-workout meal and shower). You remember a good workout in the future (remember that time you benched 250 lbs for 1 rep?).

It gets better. As much as you enjoy going through the motions yourself, your eyes always go around the gym watching other people workout at the same time. You notice that woman with the nice curves in her ass and want to either achieve them yourself or to grab them. You see the big arms on a guy and want them to hold onto you, or you want those large arms to do the grabbing.

Hell, you even have gym virgins who need guidance by personal trainers (aka Mrs. Robinson/cougars).

Do I really need to go on further?

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One Response to “The New Sex”

  1. single gal Says:

    I love working out – I totally get a high from it.
    And I’ll be honest, sometimes it’s better than sex.


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