On Trust

November 15, 2005

Tonight, several things have been revealed to me by close friends, some things that they felt couldn’t be shared with other people they knew. This made me start thinking about the nature of trusting an individual. From a pure survival point-of-view, it makes sense that we would want other people around to back us up when in danger. But why do we humans decide to share secrets with some people and not others when expressing those thoughts may put that person in danger? Perhaps not physical danger, but certainly emotional danger if those secrets did manage to get out.

Releasing a secret to a friend/lover is a private orgasm or a person. Getting those feelings out of the body and telling someone, is comforting for a person. The monkey is off your back. For a moment, those emotions turn into a questioning period if you did the right thing in sharing this information, and then you either feel pure relief or pure disgust depending on how the person reacted to your secret. But what is at the root of those feelings?

Since the body is composed up of pieces of energy, and the mind transfers thoughts around through electric connections, our thoughts must be composed of pure energy as well. The comfort from releasing this energy through our mouths or actions, is hinting at the possibility of a clotting of energy in the brain. It’s as if the brain learns some information/memory and tucks it away into its own little file folder to fester and be shielded from the rest of the mind. It doesn’t get transfered to another part of the brain to die out or to be reborn through emotions. It sits and waits, and waits, until the need to get it out is so great, we find any forum we can to express it, whether it’s in a blog, a conversation, a painting, whatever. When it does escape, it explodes into the world and you have that moment of, “What did I just do?? Protecting a secret is easy to do, but that final moment of releasing it is bound to happen eventually.

Then another person comes into view, another powerful energy source. It’s like their presence is massaging your own energy source, comforting you through positive energy vibes. Your own body enjoys that feeling and becomes to want that feeling more often. The more comforting the person is, the more willing your body is to allow some of your energy to escape to be savoured by the other person. You have an energy-sharing experience and a bond is created. It may not be a total unification of energy that is surely found between two lovers, but it is there and is stronger than between casual friends.

At the same time as the mind being coerced and massaged, that thought/memory energy pool is growing too large. Perhaps a thought/memory is the opposite kind of energy as a person gives off, meaning it would be attracted to it. You know in your body you want to tell this person the secret, but you still resist because you still don’t know what they’ll do with the information. But the attraction is too strong at some point and you give in to this person, or many people depending on the vibe they give off. Sharing the secret makes the bond stronger, so the sharing of other secrets will be easier to do. And not only secrets, but other private thoughts, relevations, opinions, feelings, etc.

Humans live for these energy-bonds and exchanges. The more you think about it, the more clear it seems to become. Attraction to a person (visually, touch, smell, taste) is all about transferring their energy to your mind), love (a deep bond), anger (defending their energy from your energy), jealousy (wanting to feel that bond with another that they share with someone else), lust, happiness, sadness… it is an endless subject for me now.

Something I’m wondering about now is sleep. We need to sleep to recharge our batteries, so to speak, but why? We eat throughout the day, and generally are not active at night, why do we need a third of our day to sleep and rest?

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